Black Widow

Black WidowSo, on my way into the school building today Jenny was picking up the pile of newspapers delivered by our handy-dandy local company, the Herald-Mail, and she shrieked: “A black widow!” I rushed to her side. I’ve never actually seen one, but I’ve always been terrified of the legendary red hourglass that is supposedly visible on this potentially deadly arachnid. We stoop down to look at it–oh my goodness! It is the most perfectly shaped red hourglass ever! As Stephen said, it was as if someone had painted it on the frightfully large, round, black body. It appeared to be dead, so Stephen kicked it around with his foot. And–how repugnant–it rolled around, like a blueberry, all over the sidewalk. We kept saying: “Step on it! Step on it!” But he didn’t want its guts all over his shoe. So, we’re all trying to find a rock when the thing comes to life and starts running away!! Stephen slammed a piece of paper down on its head and then brought his foot of justice down on the paper. It was over for that Black Widow. I rushed in to my classroom and found the attached picture on wikipedia. It might as well have been taken of “our” spider. The personal resemblance is eerie. Now I’m a bit more frightened of all the spiders that inhabit our basement and bedroom…

16 thoughts on “Black Widow

  1. So creepy. Justin says that brown recluses live all around his parents’ house, but I haven’t seen one of those yet either.

    eew. I think we know what Jen will be having dreams about tonight…

  2. No – they have black widows there. I’ve seen at least 20 of them. I’ve never seen a brown recluse though.

  3. Man, I want to see a live black widow. Since I’m a spider sympathizer, I would have released it into the wild instead of smashing it. I always capture and release the spiders I find in the house. Poor little spider.

  4. What silly little game? What math stuff? What’s going on?!??!

    Also, this is directed to the “spider sympathizer.” While normal spiders might not cause much harm to the innocent person they encounter, a black widow is potentially deadly. Why would we leave it there to bite and injure or kill a precious student or parent or faculty member? It WAS left on its own in “the wild” and it chose to come to our territory. What else are we to do but defend ourselves and prevent danger for others?!

  5. Folks, let me clarify this important issue. I won’t mess around. The spider had to die. Let me explain. The hourglass on the belly, while being an actual hourglass, simultaneously spelled “DEATH”. It’s a little hard to understand how this rare phenomenon existed without actually seeing it, but nevertheless, this was a spider of death. And frankly, in these situations where it’s either me or the spider – sorry SPCA – I choose life.

  6. I agree with Stephan. The spider must always die. It all sounds very scary to me and I’m glad I have not yet come across either the deadly black widow or the brown recluse. It makes me feel creepy just thinking about it!

    Jen~the math thing — to post a reply it asks you to “please add 2 and 7” why is this?

  7. I remain a spider sympathizer. Even awesome death spiders.

    Also, to those math-averse people, it is an anti-spam measure for our blog. I know you all want to read about V1AGRA in here, but it’s not happening. Add 2+7 and be done with it!

  8. “Foot of justice,” “spider of death” . . . The literary quality of this site is approaching world class! How might we obtain greater exposure for these lifechanging insights and the unparalleled eloquence through which they find expression?

    The lives of spiders and other equally objectionable earth-crawlers come to an end daily, hourly–most with much less fanfare than this morning’s black widow, who, had he/she only known the kafuffle which would result, would, no doubt, have taken great personal satisfaction in the demise. Think about it, folks. WE DON’T REALLY KNOW whether he was instantly transported to an arachnoidal afterlife and presented (before you even reached your classroom!) with 70 VIRGIN BLACK WIDOWS!

    Did Stephen do the right thing? Probably. It’s the unknown, indeed, unknowable ripple effect of his “foot of justice” that should keep us awake nights.

  9. Dudes, black widows are taking over the world!!!! Caleb and a friend found one in the woods this weekend and captured it to show all of us. It also was disposed of by a “rock of justice” but none-the-less I’m am now wary of every spider I see, especially those in my house! Jen, I too will be having bad dreams of “spiders of death”.

    since I am not a literary genius posting here, would someone like to tell me if you finish the quotation marks before or after other punctuation?

  10. After. Always. Tuck everything into the quotes, lovingly, just as you would tuck someone into bed. But that’s for another thread, perhaps.

    Speaking of which, my wife accuses me of using too many commas. You may speak of me as “My dad, the commadore.”

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